At last I am back! After a long, but interesting, holiday, I'm back to grey skies and the daily grind. Not that I complain, it's good to be back. It's not all fun and games, though, going for a vacation. Especially not if you're like me, and you do the dreaded "talking to strangers". Within a couple of days of staying in Berlin I got offered both shots and cocaine, both of which I declined, thank you very much. It isn't all bad though, as you learn a lot, of people, of their perceptions.. It gives a lot of fuel for thought.
Somewhere on the east side of Berlin, behind bushes and trees, lies a small Italian restaurant named "Il Bufalo". It quickly became a favorite of both myself and my friend, and because of some exquisite food, we came back several times. So, a couple of days before we're going back home, we go there pretty late, just as it's closing up for the night. We see our waiter, and we ask if it's closed. He sais yes, but he will make us both a drink, "because it's us". So we sit down, and he sits down with us, and we get talking.
I'm not going to recreate the entire conversation, as we ended up sitting there talking for four hours, but at one point he asked us, as young and free travelers, "what is freedom? How can a person truly be free?" My initial response was "to be happy". Of course, that's not a very elaborate answer, and so, as my friend and I elaborated, so will I share with you our (and our waiter's) wisdom on the matter.
The secret recipe.
Freedom is a very individual thing. What one finds liberating can put another in chains. There is no one specific thing you should do, no course of action and no specific item that would make anyone and everyone happy. While I like to eat, it might not make someone else happy because it makes them think they'll get fat, for example.
Although there is no secret recipe, it seems like society thinks there is. I think we've all heard it:
1. Education. 2. Work. 3. Money/Material things.
1. I suppose this depends entirely on where you live, but where I live there's an insane pressure on higher education. I can't explain our educational system properly by comparing it to the American or British system, but it goes kind of like this: When we reach what would be High School in America, we get a choice. Depending on what career we want, we can study things like mechanics, computers, hairdressing, social working etc. Or. We can just do basic classes, not leading to a specific career, but to higher education. If you take one of the career specified educations, you have to take one year at the end, with what the higher ed. classes have in 3 years crammed into one year. Now, if you choose a path that does not have higher ed. prep., you're stupid. It implies you're not good enough, not smart enough to ever get higher education. The fact that you might just want to become a hairdresser or carpenter is not taken into concideration. They're stupid, and sadly, many parents share these beliefs. So to become happy, get a good education, good grades, get higher education.
2. Now, I can't say how many people I've met, almost halfway through their lives, working in some cubicle doing something they've done for 20 years and don't give a rat's arse about. I understand that you need money, that getting a job is hard, that maybe you don't have the qualifications for the job you once upon a time wanted. But there you sit, behind your desk, earning your average wages so you can go home, sleep and repeat. Maybe one day you'll get that promotion you so desperately wanted, and then you can do almost the exact same thing, for a bit more money. Still, having a stable job is important, you'll be happy.
3. I think my friend phrased a point on this one rather well, and although I can't do it justice, I'll try to recreate it as best I can. Giuseppe (the waiter) pointed out that, with some people, you hear them complain. You want to talk to them, but the only subject they want to talk about? Money. They don't have enough, other people don't have enough, or they have too much. People have it too easy, or they have it too hard, and it goes on and on. My friend pointed out that; people talk about if only they buy this, or they buy that, then they'll be happy. They want a bigger apartment, or a nicer car, and when they get that, then they'll be happy. And when they get this new appartment? Well, if only they get an even bigger apartment, then, they'll be happy. Honest this time...
Freedom.
In truth, it's all very simple. There's only one way to be truly happy, or truly free if you will. Assuming you have the basic necessities like food and a roof over your head, it's as simple as: Follow your heart. I know I know, you've heard it before. But how? This one can be a bit tricky to explain, because, if you know how to listen to your heart it's very simple because your heart will tell you what it wants. If you don't however, I can't teach you how to relearn it. My advice would be, don't stop. Makes it all much easier. However, there comes times in everyone's lives, where following your heart might break someone else's. I have some simple guidelines for those times. In Norway, there is a children's book, and in that children's book there is a police officer. That police officer has some laws everyone in his town has to follow. They roughly translate to something like this:
You shouldn't hurt others,
You should be nice and polite.
Apart from that you can do whatever you want.
If we all followed that one law, I don't think we would need all the laws and restrictions we have today.
Do you follow your dreams, or do you lock them a way for when you have more spare time?
Nemo
Somewhere on the east side of Berlin, behind bushes and trees, lies a small Italian restaurant named "Il Bufalo". It quickly became a favorite of both myself and my friend, and because of some exquisite food, we came back several times. So, a couple of days before we're going back home, we go there pretty late, just as it's closing up for the night. We see our waiter, and we ask if it's closed. He sais yes, but he will make us both a drink, "because it's us". So we sit down, and he sits down with us, and we get talking.
I'm not going to recreate the entire conversation, as we ended up sitting there talking for four hours, but at one point he asked us, as young and free travelers, "what is freedom? How can a person truly be free?" My initial response was "to be happy". Of course, that's not a very elaborate answer, and so, as my friend and I elaborated, so will I share with you our (and our waiter's) wisdom on the matter.
The secret recipe.
Freedom is a very individual thing. What one finds liberating can put another in chains. There is no one specific thing you should do, no course of action and no specific item that would make anyone and everyone happy. While I like to eat, it might not make someone else happy because it makes them think they'll get fat, for example.
Although there is no secret recipe, it seems like society thinks there is. I think we've all heard it:
1. Education. 2. Work. 3. Money/Material things.
1. I suppose this depends entirely on where you live, but where I live there's an insane pressure on higher education. I can't explain our educational system properly by comparing it to the American or British system, but it goes kind of like this: When we reach what would be High School in America, we get a choice. Depending on what career we want, we can study things like mechanics, computers, hairdressing, social working etc. Or. We can just do basic classes, not leading to a specific career, but to higher education. If you take one of the career specified educations, you have to take one year at the end, with what the higher ed. classes have in 3 years crammed into one year. Now, if you choose a path that does not have higher ed. prep., you're stupid. It implies you're not good enough, not smart enough to ever get higher education. The fact that you might just want to become a hairdresser or carpenter is not taken into concideration. They're stupid, and sadly, many parents share these beliefs. So to become happy, get a good education, good grades, get higher education.
2. Now, I can't say how many people I've met, almost halfway through their lives, working in some cubicle doing something they've done for 20 years and don't give a rat's arse about. I understand that you need money, that getting a job is hard, that maybe you don't have the qualifications for the job you once upon a time wanted. But there you sit, behind your desk, earning your average wages so you can go home, sleep and repeat. Maybe one day you'll get that promotion you so desperately wanted, and then you can do almost the exact same thing, for a bit more money. Still, having a stable job is important, you'll be happy.
3. I think my friend phrased a point on this one rather well, and although I can't do it justice, I'll try to recreate it as best I can. Giuseppe (the waiter) pointed out that, with some people, you hear them complain. You want to talk to them, but the only subject they want to talk about? Money. They don't have enough, other people don't have enough, or they have too much. People have it too easy, or they have it too hard, and it goes on and on. My friend pointed out that; people talk about if only they buy this, or they buy that, then they'll be happy. They want a bigger apartment, or a nicer car, and when they get that, then they'll be happy. And when they get this new appartment? Well, if only they get an even bigger apartment, then, they'll be happy. Honest this time...
Freedom.
In truth, it's all very simple. There's only one way to be truly happy, or truly free if you will. Assuming you have the basic necessities like food and a roof over your head, it's as simple as: Follow your heart. I know I know, you've heard it before. But how? This one can be a bit tricky to explain, because, if you know how to listen to your heart it's very simple because your heart will tell you what it wants. If you don't however, I can't teach you how to relearn it. My advice would be, don't stop. Makes it all much easier. However, there comes times in everyone's lives, where following your heart might break someone else's. I have some simple guidelines for those times. In Norway, there is a children's book, and in that children's book there is a police officer. That police officer has some laws everyone in his town has to follow. They roughly translate to something like this:
You shouldn't hurt others,
You should be nice and polite.
Apart from that you can do whatever you want.
If we all followed that one law, I don't think we would need all the laws and restrictions we have today.
Do you follow your dreams, or do you lock them a way for when you have more spare time?
Nemo